Ash-isms #4 & Ty-isms #35

I've been doing some "isms" collecting in the last week or so and decided to do a combined post. I've come to find that motto "Monkey See, Monkey Do" is very much alive in our home.

My new favorite from Ashlee, especially as she stomps down the upstairs hallway. Or as she yells from bed after "just 1" book:

I NOT happy

And she will repeat this until you do make her happy. And then, you get a big smile and:

I no sad. I happy!

You can't help but smile at her. She's definitely letting you know she knows what she wants. When she wants it!

And you ask where the monkey comes in?

Well Mr. Big Brother does the same thing, only he just proclaims I'm NOT HAPPY repeatedly at the top of his lungs. It's never followed up with a I'm now happy remark, sadly.

They both also tell us continually NO THANK YOU! Something they learned to say at school when they are upset at something. If they don't like an answer to something, it's NO THANK YOU MOMMY or NO THANK YOU DADDY.

They also both try to make happy plates at meal-time. Gotta love what they learn at school!

Ashlee also has skipped over the why stage - well, she didn't skip it, she started it early and I guess has become bored of it - and now says What I hear? to everything.

She has the ears of a wolf. Anything that's just a bit out of the ordinary, leads to her exclaiming What I hear? We do a lot of explaining.

And speaking of hearing, she pulled on these headphones yesterday (picture) and proclaimed I wear daddy's ears. I couldn't help but laugh. Only her daddy would still have headphones like this!

After the headphones incident, she looked down at my leg and told me you have chocolate on your knee. I get it off. And she licked her finger and started rubbing at it. What was it? The birthmark on the inside of my right knee.

And my favorite....

Ashlee has started stripping at the gym.

It's all fun and games until poop is involved.

The first week, she just took off her diaper and said she was going potty. They called me from my class to tell me she was naked in the bathroom (Tyler stood watch at the door giggling). I go in to find her hands all wet. Luckily, she said I go potty mommy. I all done. I wash my hands. I'm glad it was just water!

If only the second time was as easy.

The next week, it was the same scenario. Diaper off, going potty. I'm called from working out. For some reason, I hurry down. They told me it was because she pooped (they don't change diapers) and when I went into the bathroom, I saw her little legs dangling under the stall with toilet paper dangling all over.

Me: Ashlee, what are you doing?
Ashlee: Mommy, I go potty!

I try to open the stall. She locked it! (meanwhile, Tyler is standing guard again, gigling. Her pink skirt is on the floor along with a diaper covered with poop).

I get her to unlock the stall and she walks out like all is right in the world and goes to wash her hands. She doesn't realize that there is poop all over the back of her and all over the toilet she just sat on. Needless to say, I spent 30 minutes cleaning her AND the bathroom. She went home with nothing on but a skirt and sat on a garbage bag in her car seat (because the staff felt bad for me).

To say I was mortified was an understatement.

We now go to the gym and have pep talks about not stripping!

Another good one:
Ashlee: I have hair on my legs (staring/picking at her legs in the backseat as the sun shines in)
Me: Yes, you do. You've always had hair on your legs.
Ashlee: GET IT OFF! I no like it! 

(one of her favorite sayings is "I no like it" to EVERYTHING!)

A great Ty-ism:

Last night while reading this book his new elementary school gave him at round-up so he could learn the teachers, I got to the page about the REAL teacher. REAL, I believe, is reading out loud for enrichment or something like that.

Me reading: So and so is the REAL teacher at our school
Tyler: What's REAL?
Me: It means she reads out loud to you.
Tyler: You mean she screams at you?

I lost it right there. I couldn't help but laugh uncontrollably.

Another one:
During a recent haircut, the stylist asked Tyler his favorite movie, his response Sports. Well there you have it folks, 100% truth. At least I can save $10 by NOT taking him to the movie theatre. I just turn the TV to ESPN!